1.Allright,
it's high time we tackled this burning issue... as
usual, I’m very unprepared to tackle such a highly
charged topic, so the only thing I can do is close my eyes,
hold my
nose and jump in the deep end----ready or not , here I come....
2.
they say that about 50% of today's modern/western
society's marriages end in divorce, and I hear the other
50%
aren't doing so great either
3.
so, we're left with no choice, but to come up with some
meditations, based on authentic Jewish sources---and to see
if
B'H we can beam some light into all of this thick fog
4.
I know that there's a lot of single people that will be
reading these meditations---maybe some of you gave up on the idea of
marriage
altogether---so you can do one of two things;
a.
see these meditations as a sort of inspirational guide
for getting yourself married or at least for knowing what it
takes to
carry on a lifelong intimate committed relationship
b.
or else do what most people do with emails they receive,
ignore them [i hope you choose the first option]
5.
I don't know how extensive I'm going to get
with this topic right now... i guess we'll take one step at a
time....so the first step we'll take is to bring some meditations that
I
feel are based on 'do or die' survival principles in
marriage, as
well as meditations teaching the art of thriving in
marriage......
here's wishing all of you bliss-bliss marriage
relationships....
surviving and thriving with the help of the ONE ABOVE
SURVIVING
AND THRIVING IN MARRIAGE MEDITATIONS
1.
TURNING
ME INTO WE
Be aware--------be aware that though we
may have
grown up thinking that our world centers around 'ME', and whatever
I do,
see, think, feel and say, it's all about what's in it for me....but to
survive
in marriage, the ME has to turn into WE
see------------see WE in
everything you
do, feel, experience, think and say.....see what's in it for WE ...see
what's
bothering WE....see what WE can do to get the most out of
it....practice
opening up this psychic space of WE and the next 10 times that ME
comes
up, substitute WE ...and carry on like this until you make the
shift
2. KING AND QUEEN
Be aware----------be aware
that when a
spouse turns their partner into king and queen, raising up their honor
and adoration and love at least as much as their own, if not more
so, then
the spouse will not only lovingly do the same to their partner, but
they
actually will bring out their true royal selves, and also free up each
other to
live their respective lives fully, rather than wasting all their life’s
energies to get that long lost respect and adoration from each
other
see--------------see how so
very
special your partner truly is....see how you take advantage of every
opportunity to let them know it; sometimes in words, sometimes in
deeds,
sometimes in nonverbal communication.....see what you can do to bring
out their
very best sides, their very best talents, their very best
traits.....see what
you can do to make them feel that you are doing all in your power to
make them
feel royal
3. FOREVER
Be aware-----------be aware that marriage is forever, even
beyond 'till
death do us part'...forever...and
once
marriage becomes another 'if it's not working, i let it go', or 'i
deserve
better than this, so i'm out of here' phenomenon, like so many
other
throwaway realms of today's society, then you might as well
give it
up before you start---or at least make sure you get a good
prenuptial agreement--'just
in case'.....but if you know it's forever no matter
what--you're going to
somehow learn how to MAKE IT WORK.....
see----------------see your
marriage as
lasting forever.....see how those bumps in the road aren't
really
that bumpy once you know that you're going to be together forever,
and you
both figure out how to smooth out the bumps....see how
the passage of
time causes your marriage to mature like the finest of old wines....see
how the
more of life that you spend together with your 'one and only', the
more your
mutual love grows and grows
4. G-D IS YOUR OWN
PERSONAL
LIFELONG MATCHMAKER
Be aware----------------be
aware that
you and your beloved were brought together by THE ONE ABOVE--2 long
lost
partners reunited---2 that used to be one, learning to become one
again....be
aware that G-d doesn't stop matchmaking you after the wedding is
over,
but keeps at it all of your lives, every day and at all times, G-d
is
causing you to fuse and bond together in new and varied ways that you
never
even dreamed about
see------------------see
your spouse as your soul partner....see that life is
full of
opportunities of bonding in new and different ways...see that you are
being constantly
blessed [if you only open up your receptive powers to let G-d in] with
G-d's
guidance on how to bond in new and different and deeper ways with
your
spouse.....the guidance will come to you in 'flashes' of
thought...in
signs, in conversations that are addressed to you or addressed to
someone
else but meant for you...and in many other ways
5. GIVING CREATES LOVE
Be aware---------------be
aware that
despite the common notion that we need to first 'fall in love' in order
to be
motivated to give to our beloved, our Sages teach us exactly the
opposite-----in order to truly love someone, we need to give to them
[the word
love AHAVA--comes from the root HAV which means give] ....the more that
we care
and give and keep giving with all of our hearts, the more we love them
see------------------see